Reflections: On Rebuilding
When my Mom got diagnosed with stage four cancer, both my parents took a very positive attitude towards her illness and felt they had been fortunate to have many years of good luck up till that point. Some of it might have been their practical immigrant mindset. Regardless, they decided together to be strong for each other and celebrate all the years of joy instead.
When my Mom passed away suddenly, my Dad became widowed after being partnered for forty years. It was not easy. And yet, he accepted this new reality immediately and starting exploring what he wants to experience in "his fourth chapter" as he puts in.
Reader, here are just some of the things my widowed Dad has done over the last five years:
- Traveled all over the world to numerous countries alone & with friends/family
- Biked across Italy
- Planned multiple high school and college reunions
- Archived all our family photos and videos
- Joined regular biking and hiking groups through Meetup.com (yes, that is still a thing!)
- Got knee replacement surgery
- SUMMITED Everest Base Camp six months after knee surgery
- Remodeled his Berkeley w/his sisters by literally lifting the house up to build a second unit
- Made entirely new friends in the East Bay that he meets weekly
- Has an extremely active social life
- Joined a tennis club
- Learning how to play the piano
- Taking Italian classes
- Attended weddings, parties, events alone
My Dad's story of his fourth chapter is truly inspiring. He takes responsibility to figure out what makes him happy and he has the gumption to make big moves and take ownership of his life. I have learned from my Dad that so much is possible for our lives if we are willing to try new things and become more comfortable with being uncomfortable.
A hilarious part of this chapter is he is now a wine person after forty years of being a beer person. Recently, he turned down the beer I bought for him to drink the wine he brought instead. I said, "I don't understand. How did you become so into wine!!"
"You can teach an old dog new tricks!" he remarked laughing. Touche.
I always got along well with my dad but he has taught me to learn forward and take life by its collar.
