Reflections: On Finding Joy Amidst Tough Moments
Recently, I watched some videos from when my Mom was in the hospital. These moments have always been hard to go back to and I have often avoided them, but I watched a few from the day that we all collectively decided - driven by her consent - to pursue palliative care.
Looking back, I remember the conversation we had with her and the doctors with some pretty specific details. The physician with short black hair and round glasses who had pulled my brother and I aside the day before. Calling my best friend afterwards. Calling my husband who was watching our 1yo.
But when I watched the videos today, I was surprised to see how much joy there was in the room that day. My cousin had flown from Seattle to help us navigate this process as a physician whom could talk to my Mom’s physicians. Two of my Mom’s SILs - both of whom literally had been at the hospital or at our house for a month straight - were sharing some laughs as they made my Mom a cup of tea so she could take just one sip. My dad was helping her get more comfortable in the bed. My brothers were talking to the doctor and making a few jokes, which she loved hearing while resting. We were all so excited that she had eaten hospital hash browns and we had a full-on discussion about getting more ketchup from the cafeteria because it was a small, mighty win.
I heard myself on the video so upbeat and it did not sound like toxic positivity. The energy in the room between our extended family was truly uplifting.
So here is what I know to be true:
**Our biggest, etched in our memories moments sit side-by-side with our (easily forgettable) everyday moments. There is beauty, power, humor, and pain in all of it
Loved ones and/or chosen family are among our greatest gifts
The kind of support, love, and care we received from our families and friends - near and far - was life-changing. To be in the receiving end of that kind of community care sticks with you for the rest of your life. Maybe that’s why my work has been so rooted in facilitating community & support
Any stress or tension I was feeling today literally melted away as I watched the video unfold. Joy is medicine. Joy is healing. Joy is love
Have you ever found joy and connection during your toughest moments? How has that joy nourished you, then and now?